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the girl with violets in her lap [userpic]

December 8th, 2008 (10:47 am)

So lots of people (hi, new MQ friends! ::waves::) have been asking me for followup on The Saga of the Bad Smell in Kylie and λ's Apartment, and have specifically been asking what the smell was. This is unfortunate because I have no answer. The ending of that story goes -- are you ready for this? It's an awesome ending -- "Kylie and λ came home the next day and the smell was gone and they have no idea what caused it but since it's gone now they don't really care so long as it doesn't come back." Now, it's possible that some of you went nuts for "The Lady or the Tiger?" when you read it in high school and will therefore be fond of this story's ending as well, but almost everyone I knew hated "The Lady or the Tiger?"*, so I doubt this will satisfy y'all. So here's what we're going to do: I have written a poll on the subject, which you should vote in if you want to know what the smell in our apartment was. Whichever answer gets the most votes will be the Official Solution to the Mystery of the Origin of the Bad Smell, and from here on out whenever anyone asks me what caused the smell, that is what I will tell them. Easy-peasy!

What was the cause of the bad smell in our apartment?

Your cats killed a mouse and hid it in a corner. Its body was later Raptured away.
4(6.8%)
Your elderly neighbor's cats killed your elderly neighbor. His family have disposed of his remains.
2(3.4%)
A huge colony of carpenter ants in your walls committed mass suicide by eating the ant poison that they have been ignoring since it was set out four months ago. The smell was that of formic acid, but dissipated within 24 hours.
3(5.1%)
An eerie phantasmal landfill appeared that night in the vicinity of your apartment building, and then vanished without a trace hours later. Parapsychologists will soon be investigating this newly-discovered Bermuda Triangle of waste disposal.
9(15.3%)
Your next-door neighbor was cooking meth, but has been arrested.
9(15.3%)
You were afflicted with a farting poltergeist.
4(6.8%)
The smell was God's punishment for your homosexuality. Later he got over it and took the smell away.
4(6.8%)


*I didn't, actually. I liked the story, especially after I'd concocted a favorite ending that I've thought of ever since as the "real" one -- apparently I was a fanfic girl from way back before I ever knew what fanfic was. I also used to play a game with my brothers and cousins where we'd each come up with an ending and then vote on whose ending was the best. But that's dependent on going beyond the stupid either/or setup that Stockton assumes.

Comments

Posted by: Pythian Habenero (lienne)
Posted at: December 8th, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC)
quotes: fight club fan: mad and manic

I find the second option hilarious because I actually had a dream last night about murderous kittens. I had to rescue some kittens from a box in my uncle's suspiciously castle-like house, and they turned out to have a few extras in the fang and claw departments, so while my back was turned they kept killing and eating people.

Eventually I threw them down the stairs; Earth's gravity was mysteriously on holiday, so they didn't get hurt, but there were a heck of a lot of stairs and no people at the bottom so Evil Kitties couldn't hurt anyone anymore. I think there might have been mice, though. Giant radioactive mice, which would suit the people-eating kittens perfectly.

...Hi, I'm Pyth and my subconscious mind is terrifyingly bizarre. :D

Posted by: Nathaniel Wolfthorn (ganimede)
Posted at: December 8th, 2008 05:14 pm (UTC)

Kylie! I would like to e-mail you and squee over something that I think you alone will appreciate (and possibly be the only one able to help me) but I don't have your address!!!

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: December 8th, 2008 05:15 pm (UTC)

Ooh, this sounds exciting! slammerkinbabe at livejournal forwards to the Real Me. :)

Posted by: Nathaniel Wolfthorn (ganimede)
Posted at: December 8th, 2008 05:28 pm (UTC)

An e-mail should be hurtling its way towards you right now. :)

Posted by: Heidi (sioneva)
Posted at: December 8th, 2008 05:29 pm (UTC)

What was the ending you concocted?

Our class's choice was that the princess, being semi-barbaric, did as barbarians do, had her lover marry the lady, then offed the lady and married the lover herself (or just had a torrid affair with him before she killed him off, depending on how bloodthirsty the classmate was).

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: December 8th, 2008 05:37 pm (UTC)

I decided the lady and the tiger were kept in adjoining rooms (is that in the text of the story? I forget) and the princess had secretly had the wall tampered with in some way that allowed the tiger to burst through. The lover dude opened the door to find the tiger feasting on the lady.

Well, I was in seventh grade. But that is now established as fanon in my head. :)

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: Underwear Ninja (chavvah)
Posted at: December 8th, 2008 07:41 pm (UTC)

You can read it here.

Posted by: Obsessively opposed to the typical since 1987 (baroque_n_roll)
Posted at: December 9th, 2008 03:42 am (UTC)

I like the words "afflicted" and "poltergeist."

And I dunno if you got my other comment, but I need your RL addy. I have an address for you, but I think it's an old one. :/

Posted by: daiq (daiq)
Posted at: December 9th, 2008 09:05 am (UTC)
I came from Metaquotes

I once read something, a researchy type thing (that i am sure can be disproven by snopes, but still), that apparently in cases where people with pets die in the home only to be found sometime later - most people with dogs, the dogs have starved to death - 100% of people with cats, the cats are well fed and the human remains are almost gone.

Posted by: puppets against fascism (wurwilf)
Posted at: December 10th, 2008 02:53 am (UTC)

STINKBUGS I TELLS YA

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