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the girl with violets in her lap [userpic]

OH FFS

July 29th, 2009 (03:07 pm)
indescribable

current mood: wound up

I am a miserable horror of a "writer" who should be summarily executed for crimes against the English language. What profession should I pursue immediately in the hopes of placating the Muses before they can beat me to death with a Norton Shakespeare?

Florist
0(0.0%)
Circus performer
1(2.9%)
Street cleaner
0(0.0%)
Professionally outraged knee-jerk liberal blogger (distinct from "writer")
2(5.7%)
Liaison to the Boston Police Department for Community Relations, with Particular Emphasis on Explaining Why Racially Progressive Law Enforcement Does Not Involve Arresting Henry Louis Gates for Being "Tumultuous" on His Front Porch
0(0.0%)
Pied Piper
1(2.9%)
Paparazzo
0(0.0%)
Person Who Investigates the Matter of Whether the Female Singular of "Paparazzi" Should Properly Be Rendered "Paparazza"
1(2.9%)
Aluminum Can Redeemer
1(2.9%)
Wombat Wrangler
3(8.6%)

oh help

Poor thing. ::soothes::
20(58.8%)
No
3(8.8%)
7(20.6%)

Comments

Posted by: Damian (fanboy_of_zeus)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 07:13 pm (UTC)
disturb the comfortable

You left off the option for those of us that disagree with the premise of the poll.

Posted by: Pythian Habenero (lienne)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 07:13 pm (UTC)
quotes: other: hugs that blanket

What he said.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 07:17 pm (UTC)
aaaaah

BUT IT IS AN INARGUABLE PREMISE

OMFG IF YOU COULD SEE THE SHIT I AM COMING UP WITH RIGHT NOW

okay it may not be as bad as I think it is as I am writing it but OMG I AM JUST GENERALLY FREAKING OUT. I have been writing in IM conversations for days and I'm finally trying to finish up one of the actual prose chapters I have to deal with and it is NOT BEING EASY. igh.

Posted by: Damian (fanboy_of_zeus)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 07:26 pm (UTC)

If it were easy, life would be boring. You're still a good writer. You'll get it the way you want it eventually.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 07:28 pm (UTC)

Thanks. ::hugs::

Posted by: Morgan (banshea)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 07:22 pm (UTC)

You can train wombats for a circus act that involves them retrieving aluminum cans.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 07:28 pm (UTC)

THIS IS TRUE.

Posted by: Kare Bear (luvs_chicago)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 08:45 pm (UTC)

While making floral arrangements.

Posted by: justsurvive (justsurvive)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 07:24 pm (UTC)

i gotta ask. where did your obsession with wombats come from.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 07:28 pm (UTC)
pirates

Honestly, I have no idea. I've been a habitual maker of silly polls since about a year after I got on LJ (so, like, six years or something) and I always had to have some goofy unrelated option at the end of every poll. it rotated for awhile, then narrowed down to "ninjas," "pirates," and "wombats", with an occasional squid or something thrown in. Ninjas and pirates are obviously overdone, but it wound up narrowing down to "wombats" mostly because it is a silly-sounding word and conjures up a cute image in my head. For awhile I tried to switch over to woylies, which is also a cute Australian animal and which sounds better alongside "Kylie", but it never caught on.

Posted by: justsurvive (justsurvive)
Posted at: July 30th, 2009 05:28 pm (UTC)

i like wombats the best. woylies are cute but wombats are way funnier.
i always love your polls.

Posted by: Julie (geekjul)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 08:01 pm (UTC)

you have just reminded me that I have a funny story to tell you about my mother, you, and Julie Andrews... will post it in a bit

Posted by: Kare Bear (luvs_chicago)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
Tounge Out Joey

You don't suck, but I can be irrational with you if you'd like.

Posted by: Obsessively opposed to the typical since 1987 (baroque_n_roll)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 08:50 pm (UTC)

Oh! Hey! I was supposed to ask you about something on "Toddlers and Tiaras" and I keep forgetting! So, what happened, now?



I keep wanting to write "Tantrums and Tiaras" but that is something very different...

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: July 30th, 2009 07:22 pm (UTC)
Toddlers and Tiaras -- here's my long rant on abuse of children, emotional & otherwise (triggers)

Okay, so I'm ashamed to say I forget if I mentioned it and told you to ask me about it sometime (seems plausible) or if I mentioned that I'd seen some of it and you had a question about what's up currently. If the latter, I should note that I only watched some of it On Demand last season and none of it this season. Google tells me that this season's premiere opened with a woman who had two daughters in a pageant telling one of them that she was uglier than the other one and had a big nose. Nice.

If the former, I was likely thinking of the horrific emotional abuse that last year's poor winner in the 4-6 year old (or whatever) category was put through by her mother. I mean obviously all the mothers are overinvested, but there are a number of them who do seem able to understand on *some* level what their kids want and what they don't. But this woman... I mean, the kid was terrifying -- every smile she offered (and it always was an offering to the public, never a spontaneous expression) was perfectly lacquered, and everything she said, to the judges or cameras or anybody else, sounded like a little-girl robot. The rest of the kids were unnaturally polished too, but this girl was eerie in a way I can't really describe. But the really bad part was in the final episode, when she panicked onstage and broke for the first time. She ran offstage sobbing, and her mom first yelled at her to go back and then, when she wouldn't, picked her up and carried her bodily onstage. And then she snapped into the lacquered-smile perfect robot routine again. The same smile like her face had been pulled up and into on marionette strings, the same poise, the same everything, except she had been crying and terrified literally two seconds before.

And then the judges gave her the grand prize. Because they said it took "an extra special something" (I may be paraphrasing, I forget the exact words, but that was the gist) to "pull it together" like that. Meanwhile I was horrified by the whole thing, how absolutely unnatural it was for a five-year-old to be able to just shove her emotions underground in the blink of an eye like that, and how terrified she seemed of her mom's disapproval. I was really, really disturbed. It just said so much to me about the way that emotional abuse often plays out -- the way kids are like conscripted into this rigid family situation and how they learn to comply so early, in ways that I don't think the general population understands. It also reminds me of that horrible book "Spare the Rod" that circulates in some fundie Christian circles, which advises parents to abuse their children
(there was a case a couple of years ago in which the publishers of that book were sued after parents beat their kid with PVC piping as the book advised and the kid died) [<--no seriously, triggers] and defends it on the grounds that the kids are incredibly well-behaved and will play quietly for hours on end without ever interrupting their parents or asking anything of them. OF COURSE THEY WILL, THEY'RE TERRIFIED TO FUCKING GO NEAR YOU.

Anyway. Scary home situation = kids who are scared = kids who don't "cause trouble" & are unnaturally compliant with adult authority (sometimes, anyway, depending on the abuse and on the kid) = no one picking up on what's going on.

::sigh:: ::end rant::

Edited at 2009-07-30 07:24 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Obsessively opposed to the typical since 1987 (baroque_n_roll)
Posted at: July 30th, 2009 11:00 pm (UTC)
Re: Toddlers and Tiaras -- here's my long rant on abuse of children, emotional & otherwise (triggers

Oh, my FB status was something like "This show is horrifying" and you left a comment that was like "Ask me about this later when I'm fully conscious." I think it was a week ago or so, which may be why you don't remember.

God, that really is terrfying. As for the rant--yer preaching to the choir, here :P

Posted by: my tongue freezes. (velvet_tipping)
Posted at: July 29th, 2009 09:37 pm (UTC)

"Paparazza" sounds a little like some sort of stuffed italian dish.

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