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the girl with violets in her lap [userpic]

Sims advice

August 7th, 2009 (05:05 pm)
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current mood: ah. hm.

So if you want to get your child into private school in the Sims, and you invite the headmaster over for a dinner party, do not spend three days studying cuisine in order to learn to cook a top-notch meal, and then forget to order groceries, so that there is nothing in the house to eat.

And if you do do this, don't repeatedly try to send your Sim to make a meal, and get incredibly frustrated when he won't because why is he so stubborn, and only catch on to the fact that there are no groceries when the game itself takes pity on you and reminds you.

And if you then put in an emergency order for groceries, and start trying to make salmon with 45 minutes left in the dinner party, don't set the kitchen on fire.

And if you do, don't wonder wildly why the fire alarm is not working, and then realize that you accidentally installed two burglar alarms and no fire alarm.

And if you do do all of this, and you have a pregnant Sim in the house, don't miscalculate her delivery date and only realize it when she goes into labor in the middle of the fire.

And if you do miscalculate her delivery date and she goes into labor in the middle of the fire, don't have her give birth to twins, not that there was much I could do about that at that stage.

And if all of this happens and there are six minutes left in the party, and your mother-Sim has just disgorged twins onto the kitchen floor, and your father-Sim has just managed to extinguish the fire, leaving him exhausted and trailing clouds of green stink everywhere, and the headmaster is on his way out the door, don't make a last pathetic stab at rescuing the situation by pulling a bowl of mac and cheese out of your inventory and seeing if he will eat it. He won't.

If you do all of these things, the headmaster will determine that you are not the sort of family that should be associated with his fine institution (he'll say it just like that), and your child will not get into private school. Hard on the child, especially if he is a musical prodigy and if he has been studying quietly in his room, in formalwear, through the whole debacle.

Oh well. Twins!

ETA: AND A SPECIAL NOTE OF CAUTION FOR ALL SIM-FATHERS IN THE AUDIENCE: DON'T LEAVE THE SALMON IN THE OVEN UNTIL IT ROTS BLACK AND IS COVERED WITH FLIES, AND IF YOU DO, DON'T TRY TO EAT IT ONCE YOU TAKE IT OUT. YOU WILL GET SICK WITH FOOD POISONING AND MAYBE DIE. BECAUSE YOU ARE EATING ROTTEN FISH. AND FLIES.

JESUS CHRIST SIMS WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME.

I knew I should have given that dude some logic points somewhere along the line.

Comments

Posted by: Andrew Ducker (andrewducker)
Posted at: August 7th, 2009 09:51 pm (UTC)

I laughed at this. Julie laughed at this A LOT.

I'd relink to it, but it's friends-only :->

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: August 7th, 2009 09:58 pm (UTC)

I'm not sure why I flocked it in the first place, as Sims entries are not the most personal thing in the world, so I've unflocked it now.

Sims are amazing.

Posted by: lady of the summer, princess of the morning (diana_hawthorne)
Posted at: August 7th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)
janet mcteer's giggly face is soooo cute

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I nearly died! This was hilarious!

Posted by: Kare Bear (luvs_chicago)
Posted at: August 7th, 2009 11:49 pm (UTC)
LOL

Your Sims updates make me laugh so hard.

Posted by: Yes, I Have One (supremegoddess1)
Posted at: August 13th, 2009 01:28 pm (UTC)

I'm sorry, but I am laughing SO HARD.

also, has this been meta'd yet? and if not, do you mind if i do?

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: August 13th, 2009 02:54 pm (UTC)

::giggles:: No, it's not been meta'ed, and you're welcome to do so if you want to. I imagine people over there have amusing Sims stories as well, which would be fun to read. :)

Posted by: Yes, I Have One (supremegoddess1)
Posted at: August 14th, 2009 11:59 pm (UTC)

http://community.livejournal.com/metaquotes/7220199.html

there ya go!

Posted by: Jayson (otakuhaku)
Posted at: August 15th, 2009 09:47 am (UTC)
Leaving

This is why you take off their free will, silly girl! Still, you made me ROFL! <3 I shall go dig up other Sims posts, since the comments imply they exist.

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