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the girl with violets in her lap [userpic]

January 6th, 2010 (01:21 pm)

So here is what:

1. You are in a restaurant.

2. You want a corn muffin.

3. You get a corn muffin.

4. It is filled, not only with cornmeal, but with dozens upon dozens of whole kernels of corn.

What happens next?

I, uh, eat it
32(64.0%)
MY HEAD EXPLODES OUTWARD AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, OBLITERATING NOT ONLY ME BUT THE HELLBOUND RESTAURANT THAT SERVED THIS ATROCITY
17(34.0%)


I need to start carrying tweezers with me so that I can deal with these situations the Niles Crane way.

Comments

Posted by: Heidi (sioneva)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 06:38 pm (UTC)

I wouldn't order a corn muffin. If one were to appear with my meal and it were a sweetish one with chunks of corn, it would be one of the few variations on a corn muffin that I would like, so I'd eat it.

Posted by: Susan Jane Bigelow (shashalnikya)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 06:43 pm (UTC)

Did they do that ON PURPOSE? Aieee

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 06:55 pm (UTC)

THEY DID IT ON PURPOSE

AND I HAVE BEEN SERVED CORNBREAD THAT WAS FULL OF CORN-KERNELS TOO

WTF

W

T

F

Posted by: Tasha Rebekah Martin (lietya)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 06:58 pm (UTC)

I AM NEVER TRUSTINGLY EATING CORN PRODUCTS AGAIN

AIEEEE

Posted by: Susan Jane Bigelow (shashalnikya)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 07:01 pm (UTC)

omg do NOT order a corn dog

Posted by: don draper's gin-soaked conscience (theholyinnocent)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 06:46 pm (UTC)
kertesz by me

A blueberry muffin is filled with blueberries, so....

Posted by: Tasha Rebekah Martin (lietya)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 06:49 pm (UTC)

This phenomenon is the reason why corn muffins are basically the only kind I *will* eat. ;)

Posted by: don draper's gin-soaked conscience (theholyinnocent)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 07:00 pm (UTC)
kertesz by me

Ha! Normally I don't like corn muffins (or cornbread) because they seem really dry and bland to me, so I like them with the kernels; they seem moister, but that could be my imagination.

Posted by: Tasha Rebekah Martin (lietya)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 07:03 pm (UTC)
statistical anomaly

I wouldn't be at all surprised if it were true, actually. There has to be *some* reason why they'd choose to do it, and it sounds completely plausible.

Personally, my favorite food texture is dry, so I am admittedly an oddity. :)

Posted by: Ponykins (rolypolypony)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 06:57 pm (UTC)

But blueberry muffins are SUPPOSED to!! Corn muffins are NOT!!

Posted by: Tasha Rebekah Martin (lietya)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 06:48 pm (UTC)
statistical anomaly

I am, of course, unusual along the same axis in which you are. That said, I'd probably quite literally gag, which would put paid to any effort to eat it and likely anything else to boot.

I emphatically DO NOT LIKE surprise "bits" in my food. I can sometimes cope if I'm forewarned, and some textures are less off-putting than others, but that'd definitely be in the "hellbound atrocity" category.

Posted by: kokopellinelli (kokopellinelli)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 06:48 pm (UTC)
Fat Ass

You forgot option 2: My mind is blown by the awesomeness of the person who created this culinary delight, and I want to kiss their hand. Mm!

Posted by: Yes, I Have One (supremegoddess1)
Posted at: January 9th, 2010 07:56 pm (UTC)

agreed!

Posted by: Xtina (the_xtina)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 06:52 pm (UTC)

Also, yayfor Niles Crane.

Posted by: thrace_ (thrace_)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 06:54 pm (UTC)

I kind of like the chunks of corn when they happen. They keep the inside of the muffin moist.

Posted by: juno (juno)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 07:57 pm (UTC)

I pretty much will only order corn muffins from a select group of places that would never do this.

Posted by: plumtreeblossom (plumtreeblossom)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 08:05 pm (UTC)
barf

Au Bon Pain, am I right?

The first (and only) time I got one of those, I got sick to my stomach from the feel of kernels between my teeth. They might as well put lima beans and peas in too, if they're going to ruin a sweet muffin by putting vegetables in it.

Mind, I love corn on the cob, and even canned corn, but as a hot & savory vegetable, not in sweet baked goods!

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 08:52 pm (UTC)

Totally Au Bon Pain! OMG, why would they do that? I couldn't even *figure out* what these weird chunks of rubbery things in my mouth were. I flashed back on this crazy story I read ten years ago about some woman who won a lawsuit against Burger King after she bit into a chicken nugget with a tumor in it. Corn muffins don't even get tumors! But my brain did not register that! And AUGH KERNELS AUGH

Posted by: plumtreeblossom (plumtreeblossom)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 09:59 pm (UTC)
don't drink

It's a shame, too, because the muffin-not-kernel part of the muffin would have been tasty without the damp produce in them.

But NO WAY can I pretend my way around the corn kernels. They even sort of deflate in the baking, so that what you're left with are the tough kernel skins filled with mush. I thought if I put a lot of butter on it I could just go LA LA LA and ignore the kernels, but no. They are nasty little attention whores that ruin the muffin completely. We should both fill out complaint cards, now that I think about it.

Posted by: Damian (fanboy_of_zeus)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 09:33 pm (UTC)

I don't actually like corn muffins and therefore would not have ordered one in the first place nor cared about its contents if I did find myself faced with one, but I based my answer on a similar situation where I ordered a chicken pot pie at a restaurant only to find that it was roughly 90% celery. I made faces and complained all through dinner, didn't finish more than a quarter of it, and now know better than to order that dish there again, but seriously, do people not realize that celery has a flavor of its own, and it is a pretty damn overpowering one and not one that should be the strongest one in the dish?

Posted by: roseyviolet (roseyv)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 09:44 pm (UTC)
Wait wait wait I know something WORSE!!!

Which is, to go into a Chinese restaurant, order the egg drop soup -- WHICH SHOULD NOT EVEN HAVE CORNS IN IT!!! -- and zomg horrors eek it is Oh.My.God it is full of CORNS!!

Bleh.

But yeah, corn muffins should not have the kernels.

Posted by: Lara (perseph)
Posted at: January 6th, 2010 11:59 pm (UTC)

Should you ever happen to be in my part of the world and invited over to dinner, don't eat my cornbread! I always add a cup of frozen corn to it. Yummy.

So yeah, if I got the muffin, I'd be all "oooh, neat, why don't more places do this?"

Posted by: Brandoch Daha (ticktockman)
Posted at: January 7th, 2010 01:22 am (UTC)
Augustus Gloop

I bought a package of mix for Chi-Chi's Sweet Corn Cake which was like a corn muffin mix, but the instructions called for adding a can of cream-style corn. I enjoyed eating the stuff, but it was certainly a different experience from cornbread.

http://www.amazon.com/Chi-Chi-Sweet-Corn-7-4-Ounce-Units/dp/B000KOSDY6

So if I was served this instead of a cornbread muffin, I'd be surprised but not disturbed.

*daha*

Posted by: Erbie McInQuack (erbie)
Posted at: January 7th, 2010 06:02 am (UTC)
smilecat2

I actually like kernels of corn in my cornbread, so I would eat it.

Posted by: Yes, I Have One (supremegoddess1)
Posted at: January 9th, 2010 07:54 pm (UTC)

err....that's the best kind...

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