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the girl with violets in her lap [userpic]

May 1st, 2007 (11:56 pm)
indescribable
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current mood: WTF SIMS

OMFG SIMS. WTF SIMS.

OMFG.

WTF.

...WTF.

...Right. So:

I made a Drowsy Chaperone house. Mrs. Tottendale, Underling, Chaperone, Aldolpho, Janet, Robert.

I put some stuff in it - some beds, a couch, a refrigerator. I kept checking back into the Live mode in between buying each thing, because when you buy someone something they aspire to own, they get aspiration points for it and then their aspirations shift, and sometimes they shift to something else they want to buy. So then if you buy it and check back in, they get more aspiration points. And so on.

I'd bought just the very basics for the household when I got distracted and started playing the game. Mostly Mrs. Tottendale and Underling. They aspired to flirt and kiss, so I made them flirt and kiss, and then Mrs. Tottendale wanted to Make Woohoo for 3500 points, so they made Woohoo. And then she wanted to make Woohoo again, again for 3500 points. So they did (male Sims' recuperation time seems to be faster in Sims than it is in reality). And then she wanted to Woohoo AGAIN. So they Woohooed AGAIN. It's easy aspiration points, but seriously, man, that's some stamina. Go Mrs. T!

But then. AND THEN. OH THEN. There was a fire. And of course I hadn't yet gotten a fire alarm, because I'd put so few things in the house. So they had to extinguish it.

Aldolpho, Mr. Manly Man, went at it first. He couldn't get it out. It spread.

Next Janet took a shot. Janet also couldn't get it out. It continued to spread.

(You see where this is going.)

Then Underling took his best shot. No dice. It retreated a little bit, though.

Then Robert tried. SERIOUS spreadage. Robert is a wuss when it comes to fire extinguishing.

('Round about this time Erin, Patti, and Velma showed up to welcome the household to the neighborhood. SOME TIMING, GUYS. I sent the Chaperone out to greet them, as I didn't want her anywhere near the fire, she being my favorite character. I'm not sure if she went; Sims are typically horrified/transfixed by fires, so she may have stayed around to jump around and scream instead.)

Aldolpho tried again. Nothing.

Mrs. Tottendale gave it a shot. She made a creditable attempt, but did not ultimately succeed.

I'd never seen a fire like this in my experience of Sims. It always takes longer for regular characters to extinguish fires than for the fire department to do it, but REALLY, this was like THREE HOURS in Sim time. In desperation, I sent the Chaperone in, figuring if anyone could do it, she could. And lo and behold, it went out! Or seemed to. I couldn't see any more fire, anyway. I was just about to max their motives to get them clean (fires are very dirty)...

....when HOLY SHIT THE REFRIGERATOR EXPLODED. I still have NO IDEA what happened - whether there was a tiny tongue of fire that crept into the wiring, whether it just decided to explode, I have no idea, but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH FIRE AGAIN. And Mrs. Tottendale, the loon, runs STRAIGHT INTO THE FIRE. OMG MRS. TOTTENDALE WHAT. I know you're senile, but surely it does not take too many brain cells to know NOT TO RUN INTO A FIRE? What's more, she REFUSED to obey my frantic "GO HERE GO HERE GO HERE GO HERE" clickings. She danced around in the middle of the fire like a lunatic until the Grim Reaper showed up. That's right, the Grim Reaper showed up, and he looked her up on a little clipboard, and by the time I had remembered that you can save people from death and clicked on him and tried to have the Chaperone save her (would have been much better to use the Underling, as they were, ahem, closer, but I knew I didn't have time to change characters) he was already leaving. And MRS. TOTTENDALE DIED. SHE DIED DANCING AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIRE.

Also, her death extinguished the fire somehow. Or else the Reaper did. I don't know.

Underling lost 5000 aspiration points, of course, and his greatest fear turned into "Mrs. Tottendale becomes a zombie." I suppose that would be rather unpleasant, yes. But you know what Aldolpho and the Chaperone did right after Mrs. Tottendale died? THEY FELL IN LOVE. I'm not kidding, they were like STANDING IN THE SPOT WHERE THE GRIM REAPER HAD BEEN TWO SECONDS AGO, and they had LITTLE HEARTS FLYING OVER THEIR HEADS. WTF, PEOPLE, HAVE SOME GODDAMN RESPECT. THAT WAS SOME FINE SENILE WOMAN WHO JUST KICKED THE BUCKET IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR KITCHEN, ASSHOLES.

Anyway, I refused to save that game. REFUSED. I know I could just have put in another Mrs. Tottendale, but it wouldn't be the one who had sex with the Underling three times in five minutes, and I liked that one. I don't know if the game will take exactly the same course a second time around, but I'd like to give it a shot. Mostly I want them to get to know Erin & Co. a little better. There's a reason I moved them in next to Erin, after all. Erin + Aldolpho = OTP.

I know one thing, though. Next time, I'm getting them a goddamn fire alarm.

Comments

Posted by: Damian (fanboy_of_zeus)
Posted at: May 2nd, 2007 11:26 am (UTC)

Had you bought them a telephone yet? 'Cause you can have them call the fire department, if so. Slightly slower than a fire alarm, but it works perfectly well, and no one dies, generally. (And you can switch into Buy mode while the fire's still going, if they didn't have a telephone yet.)

Just a thought.

Posted by: ems (ems)
Posted at: May 2nd, 2007 12:01 pm (UTC)

I literally laughed until I cried at this entry. Ahahahah.

Posted by: she almost looks human--it must be the lighting (brightredday)
Posted at: May 2nd, 2007 12:13 pm (UTC)
Drows more alcohol please

I predict that this will be the most I laugh today. Oh my God, that is so fabulously ridiculous in every respect.

I totally agree that Erin + Aldolpho = OTP, by the way.

Posted by: Erin (givesmevoice)
Posted at: May 2nd, 2007 12:17 pm (UTC)
Drowsy Aldolpho

oh! poor Mrs. Tottendale!

but...mmmmyesplzAldolpho. he and I are SO OTP.

(Deleted comment)
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