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the girl with violets in her lap [userpic]

Wanted: babydaddy

April 1st, 2008 (04:43 pm)

So for awhile, λ and I have been wanting to become parents. I guess some of you have been hearing us talk about this quite a bit, in emails and the like, but I've been fairly circumspect about it on LJ. It's taken us a long time to make the decision. Of the two of us, I'm the one who's most wanted to experience a pregnancy and actually give birth to a baby, and yet, as you all know, my genetic contribution is... shall we say... quirky. It took me a long time just to develop enough self-respect to say that risk of bipolar or no, my genes weren't so terrible that it would be child abuse to pass them on to another living human being.

But we decided, at last. We're looking to be parents.

This, as you can imagine, is harder for lesbian couples than for straights.

We've looked into all our traditional options: adoption, sperm bank, even the fledgling technology by which ova can be converted into sperm (too fledgling, sadly, to be workable right now. Maybe in ten years.) We've talked them all over, but with every option we run into the same problem: the cost. God almighty, the cost. We're well aware that raising a child requires significant financial security. But just *getting* a child, if you're lesbians, can cost tens of thousands of dollars. How are you supposed to have the money to raise a kid if you're spending all your money on getting a kid?

So we have a proposition for you, males of this friends list. And yes, the innuendo you're reading into "proposition" there is intended. :)

We want to have a baby the natural way. You know, man, woman, candles, soft music.

We just need the guy.

I know this is going to sound irrational to a lot of people, but allow me to present my reasoning for doing it this way herein:

1. Actual sex, when you calculate the time of the month for it correctly, is more likely to result in pregnancy than turkey-bastering it.
2. It's also more likely to produce girls, which λ and I would prefer as we worry about the lack of an in-home role model for boys. (I don't know why real sex is more likely to produce girls. It's something about the comparative weight of X and Y chromosomes and the relative rates of force produced by a turkey baster and, erm, the real deal. I don't really get it, but you can read up on it if you're curious.)
3. I don't have many IRL male friends. My circle of local friends has sort of turned into a lesbian knitting circle. We could put out an ad in the paper for willing sperm donors, and then start an arduous process of researching -- or we could ask the male friends I have on LJ, many of whom I adore, if they'd be willing.
4. You get to have sex with me, the hottest lesbian in Boston, at least if the wooing of Mr. 7/11 Chili Cheese Dog is any indication. :)
5. I've never had sex with a guy. I'm curious. (It may not sound like a very good reason, but hell, people, admit it -- you'd be curious too.)

We're not ready to have kids right this minute, of course, so please don't start booking your plane tickets or anything. It will probably take at least six months and probably more like a year before we feel like we have all our (rubber) ducks in a row. But I do want to have kids before I'm out of my 20s, and I'm heading into the back side of my third decade now. Mostly I just wanted to suss out my flist's interest, see if anyone wanted to volunteer.

So let me know, either here in the comments or at booksomeblonde at gmail dot com. Your role in the kid's life could be as much or as little as you wanted it to be (providing you don't want full custody), and if you're gay and really, really aren't up for sex with a girl, well, we'd consider turkey-bastering it. Though frankly I believe I am hot enough to convert the most dedicated gay guy. ;) You wouldn't receive any money, except possibly a plane fare out if you needed it, but you would have done us a great favor, and you could play a role in the child's life, as I said. This would be a great deal for someone who didn't feel quite ready for fatherhood, but wanted to assume like an uncle's role or something. And you'd never have to worry about your biokid's well-being or happiness. We intend to be the best parents anyone could possibly be. We really have been talking this over for years.

Any takers?

ETA:

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!

Comments

Posted by: Oriana (fairoriana)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC)
grey with pansy

Wow! I wonder if the baby's birthday might be April 1st?

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 08:50 pm (UTC)

I don't think so. Like I said, we're looking to start trying in six months to a year -- I doubt it'll be either three months or a year and three months.

Posted by: Chris Schmidt (crschmidt)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)

I'm sure you're aware of the date. Given that, I'll stop smirking (Okay, stop smirking in the particular way I am right now -- I'll still smirk) after the date changes.

(Though it is past the typical noon deadline for the end of April Fools, I'll admit.)

More seriously though, If you think you're hot enough to convert the most dedicated gay guy, thus believing that a gay male can be converted in this way, I believe that I would have to then believe that I could convert you with my mad lovin' skills. So I'm not a valid candidate :)

Posted by: rebel rebel (you've torn your dress) (tornyourdress)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)

I hope you get lots of offers. And enjoy the sex. :)

Posted by: Jason (jadasc)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
medusa

The sheer number of people who would have to give their approval puts me near the back of the list.

Posted by: Doc Manhattan (docmanhattan)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 09:04 pm (UTC)
woman

I have this hilarious vision of you deciding between "finalists" for biological fathers via lj-poll.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 09:07 pm (UTC)

How did you know that was the next stage?!

Posted by: Doc Manhattan (docmanhattan)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 09:09 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Damian (fanboy_of_zeus)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 09:11 pm (UTC)

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 09:21 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Damian (fanboy_of_zeus)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Isaac Kelley (moondispatches)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 10:27 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Spencer Irving (archaica)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 06:00 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Spencer Irving (archaica)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 06:02 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 09:09 pm (UTC)
dude!

I've never had sex with a guy. I'm curious.

Man, way to give every conceivable (har har) candidate a serious case of performance anxiety...

Posted by: roseyviolet (roseyv)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC)

The moment I read this post, my first thought was of you (Leonard), Andie, and a series of posts many years ago that ended with the words "But hey, free sperm!"

And then I smiled quietly to myself.

(Screened comment)
Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 09:15 pm (UTC)

:) We are in fact planning on having kids. And it sure is cheaper to do it by asking male friends for sperm than any other way. But we'll risk turkey-bastering it. :)

By the way, I cna't tell if i got Katie -- she left a comment that seemed like a sincere if light-hearted response -- I thought it might be facetious -- but then deleted it. I hope I didn't trick her and in so doing hurt her feelings!

I'm screening this comment and yours because it hasn't *technically* been outed as a prank yet. :)

Posted by: A Story Like Mine Has Never Been Told... (servingsize)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 10:32 pm (UTC)

Is this an April Fool's post?

(Someone had to ask!)

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)

What a question! I am offended, sir.

Posted by: A Story Like Mine Has Never Been Told... (servingsize)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 11:00 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Jillie (dancing_crazy)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 11:22 pm (UTC)

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 11:27 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Jillie (dancing_crazy)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 10:47 pm (UTC)
Kristin Bewitched

If I had a penis, I would do it. This may have been a joke, but this isn't. If I had the ability to... contribute, that way, I would. And, I think that child is going to be extremely lucky.

(edited to say--eventually)

(no pressure)

(I'm not Jewish or anything)

(HAVE BABIES! You're my only married friend!!!)

Edited at 2008-04-01 10:50 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Jillie (dancing_crazy)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 10:49 pm (UTC)
Idina greenify

BTW, sex with a guy? I dunno. Now that I've had it with a woman, I can say, really, you get the better... er... end. Of the deal.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 02:44 am (UTC)

Either I missed a post or you just did an excellent job of pranking me back. :) Email me a link to the post I missed in the event that I did?

Posted by: Jillie (dancing_crazy)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 03:09 am (UTC)

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: Damian (fanboy_of_zeus)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 11:45 pm (UTC)

I usually hate it too (too many years of mean pranks being played on me as a kid), but Kylie does have such a way of coming up with stuff that's actually funny...

Also, your icon makes me wish I hadn't lent my BSG DVDs to my sister; Starbuck = awesome.

Posted by: lily bart (everypoembreaks)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 12:06 am (UTC)
helena = ninja

Happy April Fool's Day to you too. ;]

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: Christine, the strawberry girl (thirtiesgirl)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 05:24 am (UTC)

Hand me that strap on dildo, dammit, and I'll see if I can't squeeze out a few sailors!

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