?

Log in

No account? Create an account
the girl with violets in her lap [userpic]

Sure and it's the day when my default icon changes for 24 hours

March 17th, 2009 (09:39 am)

It's St. Patrick's Day! And I, who am about the Irishest person in the world apart from people who actually live in Ireland*, have no plans for the night at all. Thus I am left at a loss as to how I can spend today in a suitably Irish manner. (I am wearing a green shirt that says "St. Patrick's Day," but below that it says "2008" and I bought it at Old Navy for $4, so I don't think that is the most authentically Irish experience in the world.) So I decided to run down my options, but my prospects look a little bleak.

Idea: Get drunk on lunch break.
This would probably not please my coworkers.

Idea: Sing Irish songs all day in full voice so people can appreciate the beauty of Irish music and culture.
This would also probably not please my coworkers.

Idea: Wander around getting into brawls with random people in the street.
This would probably not please the random people in the street, and since I am 5'1", they are likely to be bigger than I.

Idea: Eat a lot of potatoes.
I do not have a lot of potatoes.

Idea: Find a bunch of snakes. Lead them out of somewhere.
I do not have a bunch of snakes.

Idea: Go around to various churches and have masses said for the repose of the souls of people named Patrick, Bridget, Kathleen, William, and Moira.
I am sure all the dead Patricks, Bridgets, Kathleens, Williams, and Moiras in the world would appreciate this, but having masses said for the repose of souls costs money, which I do not have any of. I can light votive candles for dead Patricks, Bridgets, etc., but even that carries a "donation" of $1.00. And are you going to light a votive candle and not make the donation with a nun staring you down? I didn't think so.

Idea: Learn what ”Erin go Bragh" means.
I do this every year and every year I forget. Wikipedia says it's "Ireland forever". Let's see if I remember next year.

Idea: Formulate serious, well-informed opinions on important issues in Irish politics and current events, and waylay people to discuss said opinions.
This sounds like hard work and would annoy people.

Idea: In all written communication today, spell things according to traditional Irish Gaelic spellings.
The annoyance that other people would suffer and the illegibility of my resultant writing would be nothing matched up to the awesomeness of this plan; but I only know how to spell about three words in Irish Gaelic, which is seriously the most impenetrable phonetic structure I have ever seen in my entire life. I can wander around writing "Eoin Ui Mhaille" all day and hope that I will run into a sadly transliterated Owen O'Malley somewhere who will appreciate it, but those odds seem slim. Plus I am a transcriptionist and so doing this would probably get me fired.

Idea: Every time somebody starts drunkenly singing "Danny Boy", explain tartly that "Danny Boy" is not really an Irish song, as the sob-story lyrics were written by an Englishman who then ripped off an old Irish melody, not being sufficiently talented to write his own. Tell them all that they should sing "The Confession of Devorgilla", the original Irish lyrics to the tune, instead. Demonstrate.
This, like so many other suggestions, would irritate everyone; but I am beginning to accept that if I want to be very very Irish today, I am probably going to wind up annoying someone. Whether this means that all Irish people are annoying or just that my specific way of being Irish is annoying I do not know, but I suspect the latter. Either way I think this is a very important thing for me to do, and so I will do it. Maybe if I do find some way to get drunk later in the day I will modify my plan and sing the more popular and more maudlin "Irish Love Song" lyrics, which came about later, rather than "The Confession of Devorgilla". There are times when it is necessary to relax one's purist stance.

Idea: Preface everything I say today with "Faith and begorrah!"
I see no reason why this is not the best idea on Earth.

So it's faith and begorrah that I shall be saying, and may my ancestors smile brightly down upon me for it! Happy St. Patrick's Day to you all!

*Exaggeration, but I am actually something like 96% Irish by blood. I was sort of sad the day I found out about the great-great-great-whoeveritwas ancestor of mine who was French-Canadian. I have nothing against French-Canadians, but I wanted the 100%. Also there is a family legend that says that French-Canadian was in turn descended from Vasco da Gama somewhere along the line, and I don't like Vasco da Gama.

Comments

Posted by: Yes, I Have One (supremegoddess1)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 02:01 pm (UTC)

This made me laugh. Can I post it to metaquotes?

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 02:07 pm (UTC)

Sure, if you like. :)

Posted by: Yes, I Have One (supremegoddess1)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 03:34 pm (UTC)

done:

http://community.livejournal.com/metaquotes/7074665.html

Posted by: Spencer Irving (archaica)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 02:20 pm (UTC)

So THAT's why Danny Boy sucks! Thanks!

Posted by: ems (ems)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 02:26 pm (UTC)

Oh, you crazy Irish Americans with your hats and your four leaf clovers. Everyone in Ireland is just getting drunk right now with nary a clover in sight. ;)

Posted by: Katie (october31st)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 03:19 pm (UTC)

<3

The bars in NYC are by and large opening at 9am or earlier this morning. This is a city which loves its Irish, or is at least eager to profit from their drunken revelry. And my boyfriend's last name is McNaney and he doesn't have a day job. Oh, I will be entertained when I get home from work... :P

Posted by: ems (ems)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 03:20 pm (UTC)

It's adorable. I think for the full St Patrick's day experience I need to come over there! xx

Posted by: Katie (october31st)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 03:28 pm (UTC)

I would just amend that to 'you need to come over here,' period. But whatever the excuse!

Posted by: Underwear Ninja (chavvah)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 02:35 pm (UTC)

Idea: Go around to various churches and have masses said for the repose of the souls of people named Patrick, Bridget, Kathleen, William, and Moira.

Hilariously, those are all names in my family. Pretty sure my mum is still kicking though.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 02:41 pm (UTC)

They're all in my family too, but then that's no small feat as the family reunion for my grandfather's family this summer had 300+ people at it. They had to rent a campgrounds. (And that's just Mom's dad's family, although admittedly, the average number of children in other branches of the family tends to be closer to 4 than to, I don't know, 8. That branch is the we're-old-school-Catholics-no-birth-control-for-us side.)

Posted by: Underwear Ninja (chavvah)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 02:45 pm (UTC)

Yeah, my mum's dad's family are quite numerous and Irish and Catholic, although to date I have only met a small sampling of them. Apparently there's a town in Ireland where you can't swing a cat without hitting a member of my family.

Posted by: puppets against fascism (wurwilf)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 02:54 pm (UTC)
the captain! his name is THE CAPTAIN

You get BIG IRISH CRED for knowing about "Danny Boy." I have some more ideas:

Watch Father Ted.

Read a Roddy Doyle novel.

Spin or steal some road signs to confuse foreign motorists.

Curse creatively.

Drive too fast.

Say something vicious and cutting with a lovely smile and a friendly tone of voice, and then leave before the person you're talking to realizes you just insulted them.

(I miss Ireland so bad.)

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 03:00 pm (UTC)

I was actually thinking of taking my lunch break to read "The Dead", but I didn't put it on the list because it wasn't funny. I'm not sure whether I still have Doyle's The Woman Who Walked Into Doors at home or not; I bought it used awhile ago and haven't yet read it. If I can find it I may give it a St. Patrick's Day look-over.

Posted by: Damian (fanboy_of_zeus)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 03:00 pm (UTC)

Spin or steal some road signs to confuse foreign motorists

Except the major roads aren't marked around here anyway, on the assumption that anyone who deserves to know where they're going will already know where they are. Also, if people drove any faster, they'd break the sound barrier.

Posted by: ems (ems)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 03:20 pm (UTC)

Watch Father Ted = best suggestion yet.

Posted by: Underwear Ninja (chavvah)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)

Seconded.

Posted by: a very caring potato (mollydot)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 04:17 pm (UTC)
Irish dictionary

Re-write the road signs in Irish.

Posted by: Amy (amyura)
Posted at: March 17th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC)
Yakov Smirnoff

This is seriously the BEST. POST. EVAR.

Tiocfaidh ár lá! And slan abhaille, and all that good stuff.

Posted by: Popcorn the Bearcat (agatha_mandrake)
Posted at: March 18th, 2009 07:07 am (UTC)
but whye is the rum gone?

Faith and begoorrah! Happy St. Patrick's Day! And now I must google Vaco da Gama.

19 Read Comments