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the girl with violets in her lap [userpic]

June 8th, 2011 (04:04 pm)

Isn't it funny when nice people post blatantly fatphobic things to the Internet without the slightest bit of awareness that they might be doing something douchey? It's like they think, hey, if I can't see you being fat on the other end of this Internet connection, I couldn't possibly be insulting you! Or anyone else!*

I love you, all my fat friends, and I like the way you look. I'm tired of seeing you be sad over these things and I'm tired of being sad over these things.

Chins up, Kylie.

And, incidentally, I don't want apologies because then I have to say it's okay, and it all gets uncomfortable and I'm sick of being uncomfortable. You be uncomfortable for a change, fat-shamers. Don't apologize and for Christ's sake don't explain. Just cut it out.

__________________________________________


*I mean, don't worry, anyway; I'm sure you're not that kind of fat. You wear it really well, I bet! And even if you don't we all love you because of your personality. You don't have to be pretty the same way that the people I'm insulting are supposed to be pretty! You're different because you're my friend and I'm never casually cruel to my friends.

Comments

Posted by: Heidi (sioneva)
Posted at: June 8th, 2011 09:25 pm (UTC)

Yes.

I was startled, while browsing my FB wall, to find a comment on a friend's post that was just disgustingly fatphobic. Thankfully, the friend in question hadn't said it and I didn't know the commenter but...

Sigh.

Posted by: Laura, aka "Ro Arwen" (roina_arwen)
Posted at: June 8th, 2011 09:36 pm (UTC)
Well Said!

Amen to that!

Posted by: Like in that film you saw once (cakesy)
Posted at: June 8th, 2011 09:42 pm (UTC)
Nurse Jackie - Jackie/Zoey hug

I love this whole post.

(Also, most of my friends have known me and my fluctuations long enough to know better than to do the 'oh but you're not' thing at me when I mention that I've put on weight, so I was SORT OF TAKEN ABACK when my new housemate said it to me the other day. I'd completely forgotten it was a way that people socialised! I don't know if this means I have an awesome friends group or if I am just out of touch with society.)

Posted by: Ginger Honey (sweetgingertea)
Posted at: June 8th, 2011 10:01 pm (UTC)
candles

Because we hear so many fatphobic things everyday, here's something that I thought about in the grocery line- one the cover of a magazine was a woman advertizing all the weight she'd lost on The Biggest Loser. I looked at her "fat" picture and thought she looked beautiful. To me, and I admit to liking women with curves, she looked so much better fat. Why can't more people see that? And I'm not downing thin people- I see beautiful thin people too. It's just why does the media say only thin people are beautiful?

Posted by: Heidi (sioneva)
Posted at: June 8th, 2011 10:44 pm (UTC)

This has been true for every "before" pic of a friend who's had WLS that I've seen (three or four that I can think of offhand). I look at the pre-pic and think...but you were lovely then!

Posted by: law_nerd (law_nerd)
Posted at: June 8th, 2011 10:09 pm (UTC)
Xena: Warrior Marker

Brava!

Posted by: Pirate Jenny (deliriums_fish)
Posted at: June 8th, 2011 10:34 pm (UTC)
come on get happy

Thank you for posting this...this could go for so many "fill in the blank" not-easily-swallowed-by-the-"public" issues.

Posted by: Erbie McInQuack (erbie)
Posted at: June 8th, 2011 10:55 pm (UTC)
fugranny

Sing it, my fat sister!

Posted by: blahblahblah, whatever (kathrynrose)
Posted at: June 9th, 2011 01:40 am (UTC)

You rock so hard!

Posted by: Tasha Rebekah Martin (lietya)
Posted at: June 9th, 2011 03:27 am (UTC)

YES. This.

I'm especially disappointed when it's someone who otherwise seems very with it about bigotry and privilege (this isn't the "fat people are the last group it's OK to abuse" trope, so much as that I have that disappointment every time someone like that suddenly turns on a different Them in any context).

"You're different because you're my friend and I'm never casually cruel to my friends."

And that, too, sums up how it's possible for people to just keep doing this, whenever it's some group they're not part of being made the target for douchebaggery.

I've got someone eating up my Twitter feed with this bullshit right now, so your post is excellently timed; she and those she gets going on the subject not *quite* talking about how other people being fat is as disgusting and reprehensible as themselves, but it's pretty strongly implied. And I'd bet that if I took her comments and substituted in [minority group she's part of] for "fat people," she'd be apoplectic with outrage.

Posted by: Rebecca (theniwokesoftly)
Posted at: June 9th, 2011 04:22 am (UTC)

Some woman in the waiting room at the psychiatrist's office on Monday asked me if it was worth it being on meds that made me gain weight. I was like D: because I hadn't started meds yet. (I now have, I'm on lamotrigine. I kind of dread the possibility of gaining weight but hey, maybe once I'm not suffering so badly from these bipolar symptoms that went undiagnosed for thirteen years, I won't be shattered about it if it happens!)

Posted by: Kat (kindness_says)
Posted at: June 9th, 2011 04:35 am (UTC)

Oh, no. Whenever I see posts like this (general soapbox/stuff that made people upset in posts, not weight-comment-specific), I'm automatically nervous that it was me... x_x But I've posted twice in the last three weeks and the last one had nothing to do with anything, so I guess I'm pretty sure this one wasn't. (I mean, it never has been; it's just a silly reflex).

I do want to say, I'm happy to be called out by PM or whatever, if I ever write something that upsets you (or anyone, but I don't think we have enough mutual friends that other friends would see this)... =|

Annoying comments aside, I hope you're well! <3

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