January 9th, 2008

oh no murky dismal, !'80s (murky dismal)

The icon's not Back to the Future, but it's eighties, anyway. Also GIP

λ and I just bought the Back to the Future trilogy on DVD with all kinds of awesome special features and we are children of the eighties, so we have been watching them marathon-style.

I am watching Back to the Future III for the first time in about twelve, fifteen years.

I have just one question:

OKAY SO WHAT IS WITH MARTY'S "MCFLY" GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMOTHER LOOKING JUST LIKE HIS OWN MOTHER, OKAY. HIS GREAT-GREAT GRANDFATHER LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE HIM WHICH IS OKAY I GUESS BUT I MEAN TO SAY WHY BECAUSE SEE OMFG WHAT MCFLY BROTHER SLEPT WITH HIS MCFLY SISTER AND PRODUCED ANOTHER MCFLY GIRL AKA HIS MOM WHO MARRIED ANOTHER MCFLY BOY AKA HIS DAD. OR. WHAT. Because like maybe his great-great grandmother nee Somethingelse married his great-great-grandfather and became a McFly, and then they had a son who was another McFly and a daughter who married someone else and became - Somethingelse2, and then that daughter had another daughter who became a Baines at some point and gave birth to another Baines who was Lorraine who married THE DESCENDANT OF HER OWN GREAT-GRANDFATHER?! OMFG THIS IS SO NOT RIGHT. And where the fuck does George come in, if it's just Lorraine's twin who's running around in 1885? It is - I mean - THIS IS ENTIRELY TOO MUCH INCESTUOUS COMPLICATION IN THIS FAMILY, OKAY. WHY IN THE HELL DIDN'T THEY JUST GET CRISPIN GLOVER TO PLAY THE GF2 AND HAVE DONE WITH IT? OMFG WTF.

Also, why is Marty randomly moonwalking in the middle of the bar? Inquiring minds want to know.

Also also, λ informs me that many of the historical details are inaccurate and seem to be referencing either the wrong era or pure American Western mythology. I, myself, am confused by the fact that Marty is referenced as a "runt" by the others around him, despite the fact that he is 5'4.5" (according to IMDb) and, if each generation has been gaining roughly one inch in average height per generation, and the average height for a man in this generation (four generations hence from the Old West depicted in this movie) is roughly five feet nine inches, then he should be a bare half-inch shorter than the people calling him "runt". I'm sure you'll agree that this height differential is nowhere near significant enough to provoke such mocking, and that a letter to Universal Studios is probably in order at this point.

I am sad to say that Back to the Future III is not holding up to intellectual scrutiny. I'm sure you are all devastated by this news.