April 2nd, 2008

!fierce (that's all), that's all, !meryl (that's all), !dismissive (that's all)

(no subject)

Bits and bobs:

1. British expressions are much cooler than American ones. Thanks, Brits.

2. Yesterday's post in which I sought an LJ user to impregnate me was in fact an April Fool's Day post. A number of people, including my wife, seemed to think that the post was convincing enough that it could have been real. I was really quite disturbed to learn that my LJ persona is apparently such that people are willing to believe that if I were seeking a man to have sex with and to father my child, my first instinct would be to post a (public) LJ post about it. I became even more disturbed when I thought it over a bit and realized that people probably aren't so very wrong to believe that.

3. All I want out of life right now is a fresh granny smith apple. Sadly, the 7/11 is the only purveyor of granny smith apples in walking distance and they are not really a viable option because the particular apples they have on display seem to have been plucked from the tree in 1974 or so. The world is a cold, cruel place.

4. Have a poll:

True or false: In the absence of a real granny smith apple, my best option at this point is to buy a bag of Sour Skittles, which include a green apple flavor.

True -- this is obviously not just your best but your only option
False -- Skittles do not equal apples
I vote for the witty option that would have gone in this tickybox except that your boss came in just as you were writing it, causing you to become flustered and forget what you were going to write

On an entirely different note, are you aware of the gay hanky code?

Yes, it is an integral part of my romantic life
Yes, I know it
I am aware of its existence but I'm not familiar with the particulars of it
No, I've never heard of such a thing
Didn't that go out in the '70s?

5a. Yes, the second question is entirely random and prompted by curiosity.
5b. I am pretty annoyed that my boss made me forget what I was going to write because I wasn't even on the schedule when he came in, and I had every right to be on the Internet. Unfortunately I am on the schedule now, so I must bid you good day.

Good day.
!queer (female perversions), !lesbian (female perversions), female perversions, lesbian on the loose

(no subject)

I wasn't going to do this meme, but then everyone else on my friends list did it, and somehow that changed my mind about it. Just call me Mrs. Lemming.

1. My username is _____ because ____.
slammerkinbabe, because I couldn't think of anything better when I went to make an LJ username. I didn't know that I'd be using the site much when I first started this journal (ha) and I was really into Emma Donoghue's Slammerkin, so there you go. There was absolutely no reason for the "babe", and it made what would have been a catchy username, albeit one that owed its catchiness entirely to someone else's wit, into an unwieldy horror. I kind of hate it (the username "slammerkinbabe") now. But I've had a hard time changing it. We've been together so long.

2. My name is _____ because ______.
Kylie S., because I say so. Actually that is not my real name at all, though the Kylie bears a passing resemblance to my real first name. I made it up after a rather disturbing incident involving a quasi-stalker and some pornographic Barbie dolls, which I would rather not talk about on a public filter, but which made it clear to me that it was time to get my real name off my blog.

3. My journal is titled ____ because ____.
"the girl with violets in her lap", because it's a quotation from Anne Carson's translation of Sappho. (The actual line in the Carson translation is "the one with violets in her lap", but I misremembered it when I made my journal title, and then decided that when it came to my journal I liked "girl" better. Of course this is no longer true and I recognize the presumptuousness of messing with Anne Carson's translation, but, well.)

4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.
"Friends," because I have never bothered to change it. I should have changed it to "the page that never syndicates my friends' entries properly" a long time ago.

5. My default userpic is ____ because _____.
My default userpic is a painfully-Photoshopped-into-100x100-pixel-submission version of the cover of this 1960s lesbian pulp novel*. Or, excuse me, this carefully researched, entirely objective, not-at-all-sensationalized trailblazing academic work on the psychodynamic characteristics of lesbian sexuality. A seminal (har) work, I'm sure you'll agree. Female Perversions, man. I has them. Anyway, it's my default userpic because I got tired of being a Zoloft blob, and because I am a perverted female.

*Looking at that, I see that I accidentally left out the frame for "The Homosexual Fear of Normal Sex" when I was making my icon. Damn! Because the fact of the matter is, I am SO AFRAID. Albert Reissner, he knows my soul.