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the girl with violets in her lap [userpic]

February 19th, 2008 (05:08 pm)
amused

current mood: amused

via lietya:

Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force

I was surprised to note that this was patented in 1965 and has not yet been used, to my knowledge. Granted, its use is not necessary among the "more primitive" people of the world -- so the patent description tells me -- who have developed all the necessary muscles for a swift and easy childbirth, presumably by laboring in the fields and so on. However, I know that on my very own friendslist I have several "more civilized" people whose jobs do not allow them great opportunity to "develop those muscles necessary in confinement". This device is for you. Look at the design! See how easy! They just sort of strap you into this giant piece of machinery, and then you go SPINNY SPINNY SPINNY WHEE WHEE WHEE!!! until the baby pops out! Dude, this sounds SO much more fun than a water birth. Who's gonna be the first one on my flist to try it?

Comments

Posted by: active_apathy (active_apathy)
Posted at: February 20th, 2008 03:55 am (UTC)

And then it's still a net, where the force of the impact is focused onto a very, very small proportion of the surface area. So, further injuries, skin lacerations, and an outside chance of diced placenta if it somehow misses the mechanically-battered neonate.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: February 21st, 2008 11:26 am (UTC)

I did not get to this conversation while it was going on on account of work duties, but allow me to come in belatedly and say that this is almost unquestionably the best conversation that has ever happened on my journal. OMG.

Posted by: active_apathy (active_apathy)
Posted at: February 22nd, 2008 12:44 am (UTC)
Misc - OMGWTFINTERROBANG

Even with the diced placenta?

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