is pleased to announce the marriage of her daughter
Mariah Nicole Slammerkinbabe
Alexis Makayla Pabbagecatch
on this, the twenty-first day of March, in the year of our Lord two thousand and eight.
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
in wholeness of form and with limbs unfortunately popped off and lost,
in dragon's lair and on top of Kylie's computer tower.
Whom God has joined, let no man put asunder. Nay, nor even a hot diesel dyke with a leather jacket and a jawline to rival Olivia Benson's.
You may all throw rice now.