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Wanted: babydaddy

April 1st, 2008 (04:43 pm)

So for awhile, λ and I have been wanting to become parents. I guess some of you have been hearing us talk about this quite a bit, in emails and the like, but I've been fairly circumspect about it on LJ. It's taken us a long time to make the decision. Of the two of us, I'm the one who's most wanted to experience a pregnancy and actually give birth to a baby, and yet, as you all know, my genetic contribution is... shall we say... quirky. It took me a long time just to develop enough self-respect to say that risk of bipolar or no, my genes weren't so terrible that it would be child abuse to pass them on to another living human being.

But we decided, at last. We're looking to be parents.

This, as you can imagine, is harder for lesbian couples than for straights.

We've looked into all our traditional options: adoption, sperm bank, even the fledgling technology by which ova can be converted into sperm (too fledgling, sadly, to be workable right now. Maybe in ten years.) We've talked them all over, but with every option we run into the same problem: the cost. God almighty, the cost. We're well aware that raising a child requires significant financial security. But just *getting* a child, if you're lesbians, can cost tens of thousands of dollars. How are you supposed to have the money to raise a kid if you're spending all your money on getting a kid?

So we have a proposition for you, males of this friends list. And yes, the innuendo you're reading into "proposition" there is intended. :)

We want to have a baby the natural way. You know, man, woman, candles, soft music.

We just need the guy.

I know this is going to sound irrational to a lot of people, but allow me to present my reasoning for doing it this way herein:

1. Actual sex, when you calculate the time of the month for it correctly, is more likely to result in pregnancy than turkey-bastering it.
2. It's also more likely to produce girls, which λ and I would prefer as we worry about the lack of an in-home role model for boys. (I don't know why real sex is more likely to produce girls. It's something about the comparative weight of X and Y chromosomes and the relative rates of force produced by a turkey baster and, erm, the real deal. I don't really get it, but you can read up on it if you're curious.)
3. I don't have many IRL male friends. My circle of local friends has sort of turned into a lesbian knitting circle. We could put out an ad in the paper for willing sperm donors, and then start an arduous process of researching -- or we could ask the male friends I have on LJ, many of whom I adore, if they'd be willing.
4. You get to have sex with me, the hottest lesbian in Boston, at least if the wooing of Mr. 7/11 Chili Cheese Dog is any indication. :)
5. I've never had sex with a guy. I'm curious. (It may not sound like a very good reason, but hell, people, admit it -- you'd be curious too.)

We're not ready to have kids right this minute, of course, so please don't start booking your plane tickets or anything. It will probably take at least six months and probably more like a year before we feel like we have all our (rubber) ducks in a row. But I do want to have kids before I'm out of my 20s, and I'm heading into the back side of my third decade now. Mostly I just wanted to suss out my flist's interest, see if anyone wanted to volunteer.

So let me know, either here in the comments or at booksomeblonde at gmail dot com. Your role in the kid's life could be as much or as little as you wanted it to be (providing you don't want full custody), and if you're gay and really, really aren't up for sex with a girl, well, we'd consider turkey-bastering it. Though frankly I believe I am hot enough to convert the most dedicated gay guy. ;) You wouldn't receive any money, except possibly a plane fare out if you needed it, but you would have done us a great favor, and you could play a role in the child's life, as I said. This would be a great deal for someone who didn't feel quite ready for fatherhood, but wanted to assume like an uncle's role or something. And you'd never have to worry about your biokid's well-being or happiness. We intend to be the best parents anyone could possibly be. We really have been talking this over for years.

Any takers?




Posted by: Damian (fanboy_of_zeus)
Posted at: April 1st, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC)

No, I deleted it - didn't want to put the burden on you to do so :)

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