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the girl with violets in her lap [userpic]

April 2nd, 2008 (02:14 pm)

Bits and bobs:

1. British expressions are much cooler than American ones. Thanks, Brits.

2. Yesterday's post in which I sought an LJ user to impregnate me was in fact an April Fool's Day post. A number of people, including my wife, seemed to think that the post was convincing enough that it could have been real. I was really quite disturbed to learn that my LJ persona is apparently such that people are willing to believe that if I were seeking a man to have sex with and to father my child, my first instinct would be to post a (public) LJ post about it. I became even more disturbed when I thought it over a bit and realized that people probably aren't so very wrong to believe that.

3. All I want out of life right now is a fresh granny smith apple. Sadly, the 7/11 is the only purveyor of granny smith apples in walking distance and they are not really a viable option because the particular apples they have on display seem to have been plucked from the tree in 1974 or so. The world is a cold, cruel place.

4. Have a poll:

True or false: In the absence of a real granny smith apple, my best option at this point is to buy a bag of Sour Skittles, which include a green apple flavor.

True -- this is obviously not just your best but your only option
4(9.3%)
False -- Skittles do not equal apples
15(34.9%)
I vote for the witty option that would have gone in this tickybox except that your boss came in just as you were writing it, causing you to become flustered and forget what you were going to write
10(23.3%)

On an entirely different note, are you aware of the gay hanky code?

Yes, it is an integral part of my romantic life
0(0.0%)
Yes, I know it
6(13.6%)
I am aware of its existence but I'm not familiar with the particulars of it
11(25.0%)
No, I've never heard of such a thing
13(29.5%)
Didn't that go out in the '70s?
3(6.8%)


5a. Yes, the second question is entirely random and prompted by curiosity.
5b. I am pretty annoyed that my boss made me forget what I was going to write because I wasn't even on the schedule when he came in, and I had every right to be on the Internet. Unfortunately I am on the schedule now, so I must bid you good day.

Good day.

Comments

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 09:32 pm (UTC)

1. "Colour" is only acceptable when you a.) live in England or Canada or b.) have a U in Scrabble and no other place to play it.

2. However, some English expressions are fun. See: "kerfluffle" (although m-w tells me that's Canadian English derived from Scottish?); "bits and bobs". "Bits and bobs" is way more fun than "odds and ends", and you can't deny it.

3. When Britishisms are chosen for the purpose of a.) Scrabble or b.) fun, they are entirely acceptable. So say I.

4. When Britishisms are used by a random Mexican-American guy who thinks that referring to the w.c. will make him sound smarter, they are not acceptable in the least. So, also, say I.

(One time when that guy started talking about the w.c. I deliberately misinterpreted him and started talking about W.C. Fields in response. It wasn't a very coherent response because I know nothing about W.C. Fields, but neither did he, so he subsided in murmuring embarrassment. It was mean, but fun.)

Edited at 2008-04-02 09:33 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Pirate Jenny (deliriums_fish)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 09:58 pm (UTC)
kerr flick

1. "Colour" is only acceptable when you a.) live in England or Canada or b.) have a U in Scrabble and no other place to play it.
I'll make sure to let my father and his family know about this.

2. However, some English expressions are fun. See: "kerfluffle" (although m-w tells me that's Canadian English derived from Scottish?); "bits and bobs". "Bits and bobs" is way more fun than "odds and ends", and you can't deny it.

It seems that you're using "British" and "English" interchangeably. If it's a Scottish expression, then it's British. If you're only talking about expressions originating from England, proper, then...you know...

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 10:05 pm (UTC)

It seems that you're using "British" and "English" interchangeably.

This is true. I will baldly admit to being a moron and acknowledge that I've never really been clear about the Britain/England/British/English business. Between "Britain" and "Great Britain" and "The United Kingdom of Great Britain" and "The United Kingdom", all of which seem to be different things (?!), I'm just totally lost. I'm an ignoramus.

Posted by: Pirate Jenny (deliriums_fish)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 10:22 pm (UTC)
kerr tea

Great Britain is the geographical name of the island containing the countries of England, Scotland, and Wales.. So, whatever's on that island? That's Great Britain.

The United Kingdom of Great Britain is just the long version of the UK. That's the official political title for the sovereign nation including England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland.

And "British" means any person or thing from the UK (yes, this includes NI, and yes, this is confusing, but United Kingdomian doesn't roll off the tongue very well).

And yes, using England to refer to all of GB will cause offence* towards people of Scotland and Wales and Northern Ireland.


*And, YES, that is how I automatically wrote that word, and I'm not about to go back and change it because it annoys some people. Do you want me to take all the yiddish words and Jewish customs out of my life as well?

(If I sound irked, it's because I am a little.)

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 10:27 pm (UTC)

...why would I want you to change either your British spellings or your Jewish customs/Yiddish words? They're part of your heritage and that's obviously fine. Did you see my explanation above (below?) of the Mexican-American guy I knew who had no connection, heritage-wise or otherwise, to the U.K., but who was consistently and very deliberately using British terms and spellings because he thought it made him seem smarter? That's what annoys me. I suspect that if you'd met him you would have found him annoying too -- he did it in a very self-conscious way -- not self-conscious in the sense that he was embarrassed about it, but self-conscious in that he was very aware of it as part of the way he wanted to present himself.

Posted by: Pirate Jenny (deliriums_fish)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 10:44 pm (UTC)
kerr emeralds

I'm sorry, maybe I was just getting the wrong impression from a lot of the comments on here, and then when you said ""Colour" is only acceptable when you a.) live in England or Canada" I kind of went off on that.

I shouldn't have gone off on you like that, but it was just a cumulative effect from other comments, and I see this in life, all the time, this assumption that something is an affectation (or pretentious, or putting on airs) without any question into that person's heritage or upbringing.

But I apologise, I shouldn't have been carried away and lashed out, certainly not at you.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 10:49 pm (UTC)

Well, I'm sorry for the "colour" comment -- I was being facetious. In reality, I don't mind British spellings or expressions as long as someone has a decent reason for it, and I don't really care what that reason is: British heritage, enjoyment of British culture, having read too many C.S. Lewis and L.M. Montgomery books as a kid -- I'm not too fussed. (Is that a Britishism in itself?) Honestly, I was mostly just really annoyed by that one dude I knew in college. :) I haven't actually enountered many people like him -- I have a few friends who use a lot of Britishisms, and some of them are Americans who have lived in the U.S. all their lives, but they feel an affinity with British culture and I have no quarrel with that.

The whole conversation started because archaica was annoyed that I used "bits and bobs" and then said that British expressions were fun, so I'd be pretty hypocritical to be seriously criticizing people who use Britishisms without living in the U.K. :)

No worries, though. Sorry the thread was inappropriately judgmental.

Posted by: Damian (fanboy_of_zeus)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 10:51 pm (UTC)

Since my comment was one of the others along those lines, I should clarify: I'm not expressing any actual disapproval of people using Britishisms - what I mean by saying that it "irks" me is that it throws me off a bit when I hear someone do so with an obviously non-British accent (and even at that, I'm guilty of it myself when it comes to spelling sometimes).

Posted by: active_apathy (active_apathy)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC)
Misc - OMGWTFINTERROBANG

1. I live in neither England nor Canada, and my life is not an EXTREME game of Scrabble. Should I, then, be compelled to become yet another victim of Noah Webster's vile plot of linguistic and cultural hegemony?

4. The only people I've ever seen using 'w.c.' are real estate agents making little maps of houses, presumably because it's the shortest possible term to write into a tiny little rectangle in a pamphlet.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 11:16 pm (UTC)

OKAY OKAY OKAY ANYBODY CAN USE ANY BRITISHISM THEY EVER WANT FOR ANY REASON, UP TO AND INCLUDING A SEXUAL FETISH FOR RANDOM PLACEMENT OF SILENT U'S AND CONVERSION OF Z'S TO S'S, AND I WILL NOT SAY A SINGLE WORD. EVEN IF THEY TELL ME THEY'VE ONLY JUST REALISED THAT THEY NEGLECTED TO DO ME THE FAVOUR OF RECOGNISING THE LOVELY COLOURS IN WHICH I DECORATED THE PARLOUR OF MY FLAT AND THEY FEEL SUCH A BLOODY BERK ABOUT IT THAT THEY MUST DO A RUNNER BEFORE THEY TOP THEMSELVES OR SOMETHING -- OR EVEN, YES, IF THEY ASK ME WHETHER THEY HAVE TO TAKE THE LIFT TO GET TO THE W.C. IN THE DORMITORY FLAT -- I STILL WON'T CRITICIZE CRITICISE

I AM REALLY MOST TERRIBLY ABJECT IN MY APOLOGY HERE

EEK

Posted by: active_apathy (active_apathy)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 11:37 pm (UTC)
QC - Hanners - meeep!

AND NOW YOU'RE JUST BEING DISMISSIVE ABOUT IT, YOU LINGUISTIC... UM... HEGEMONY-ENFORCING-PERSON. YOU SAY YOU DON'T CARE, BUT WE CAN JUST TELL THAT YOU'RE WAITING WITH A BUBBLING, SEETHING RAGE READY TO UNLEASH ITSELF UPON ANYONE WHO DARES TO STRAY FROM KING WEBSTER'S ENGLISH WITH ITS MISSING LETTERS AND PERVERTED SPELLINGS AND HOW IS IT FAIR THAT I KNOW SO FEW AMERICANISMS THAT I CAN'T ACTUALLY MOCK THEM WELL ENOUGH TO COMPOSE A FITTING REPLY TO THAT COMMENT? WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T USE THE BROKEN ENGLISH OF A PLACE THAT COULD BRING ITSELF TO INVENT AEROSOL CHEESE.

THIS APOLOGY = NOT GOOD ENOUGH. GO AND MAKE A BETTER ONE.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC)

DUDE THIS WHOLE THING STARTED BECAUSE I BEGAN MY ENTRY BY SAYING "BITS AND BOBS"

THEREFORE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ON EARTH I AM SUPPOSED TO BE APOLOGISING FOR, BUT PROFFER A RANDOM Z-TO-S-CONVERSION THERE AS A PEACE OFFERING

LET IT BE ESTABLISHED HEREIN THAT ANYONE WHO OBJECTS TO BRITISH SPELLINGS IS A BLOODY ARSEHOLE

END APOLOGY

Posted by: active_apathy (active_apathy)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2008 12:04 am (UTC)

That's... um. Yes. There was-

OH! RIGHT! PEOPLE USING BRITISH SPELLINGS OUTSIDE BRITAIN (AND CANADA) WERE EVIL, AND THERE WAS A POMPOUS IDIOT.

(Who was, in fact, just being a pompous idiot. Or a real estate agent, with words like 'cosy' and 'w.c.'; did he talk about the view? About being convenient to public transport/schools/shops/whatever else?)

AND THEN YOU DECIDED TO PLAY HEGEMONY TOO, Which should've been a give-away, really: if ever I start ranting about any kind of hegemony, it means that whatever follows is utter nonsense, but I'm meant to be using SHOUTY CAPS right now, BUT THEN I GOT CONFUSED. SO... UM, GOOD. DON'T DO IT AGAIN? WHATEVER IT WAS.

Plus, being the third of April, my ethical responsibilities demand that I once again start treating the whole world like a joke now that everyone else has had their one day of it for the year.

Posted by: Spencer Irving (archaica)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2008 12:45 pm (UTC)

Ah, I'm so glad I was able to start some shit.

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