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the girl with violets in her lap [userpic]

April 2nd, 2008 (02:14 pm)

Bits and bobs:

1. British expressions are much cooler than American ones. Thanks, Brits.

2. Yesterday's post in which I sought an LJ user to impregnate me was in fact an April Fool's Day post. A number of people, including my wife, seemed to think that the post was convincing enough that it could have been real. I was really quite disturbed to learn that my LJ persona is apparently such that people are willing to believe that if I were seeking a man to have sex with and to father my child, my first instinct would be to post a (public) LJ post about it. I became even more disturbed when I thought it over a bit and realized that people probably aren't so very wrong to believe that.

3. All I want out of life right now is a fresh granny smith apple. Sadly, the 7/11 is the only purveyor of granny smith apples in walking distance and they are not really a viable option because the particular apples they have on display seem to have been plucked from the tree in 1974 or so. The world is a cold, cruel place.

4. Have a poll:

True or false: In the absence of a real granny smith apple, my best option at this point is to buy a bag of Sour Skittles, which include a green apple flavor.

True -- this is obviously not just your best but your only option
4(9.3%)
False -- Skittles do not equal apples
15(34.9%)
I vote for the witty option that would have gone in this tickybox except that your boss came in just as you were writing it, causing you to become flustered and forget what you were going to write
10(23.3%)

On an entirely different note, are you aware of the gay hanky code?

Yes, it is an integral part of my romantic life
0(0.0%)
Yes, I know it
6(13.6%)
I am aware of its existence but I'm not familiar with the particulars of it
11(25.0%)
No, I've never heard of such a thing
13(29.5%)
Didn't that go out in the '70s?
3(6.8%)


5a. Yes, the second question is entirely random and prompted by curiosity.
5b. I am pretty annoyed that my boss made me forget what I was going to write because I wasn't even on the schedule when he came in, and I had every right to be on the Internet. Unfortunately I am on the schedule now, so I must bid you good day.

Good day.

Comments

Posted by: active_apathy (active_apathy)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC)
Misc - OMGWTFINTERROBANG

1. I live in neither England nor Canada, and my life is not an EXTREME game of Scrabble. Should I, then, be compelled to become yet another victim of Noah Webster's vile plot of linguistic and cultural hegemony?

4. The only people I've ever seen using 'w.c.' are real estate agents making little maps of houses, presumably because it's the shortest possible term to write into a tiny little rectangle in a pamphlet.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 11:16 pm (UTC)

OKAY OKAY OKAY ANYBODY CAN USE ANY BRITISHISM THEY EVER WANT FOR ANY REASON, UP TO AND INCLUDING A SEXUAL FETISH FOR RANDOM PLACEMENT OF SILENT U'S AND CONVERSION OF Z'S TO S'S, AND I WILL NOT SAY A SINGLE WORD. EVEN IF THEY TELL ME THEY'VE ONLY JUST REALISED THAT THEY NEGLECTED TO DO ME THE FAVOUR OF RECOGNISING THE LOVELY COLOURS IN WHICH I DECORATED THE PARLOUR OF MY FLAT AND THEY FEEL SUCH A BLOODY BERK ABOUT IT THAT THEY MUST DO A RUNNER BEFORE THEY TOP THEMSELVES OR SOMETHING -- OR EVEN, YES, IF THEY ASK ME WHETHER THEY HAVE TO TAKE THE LIFT TO GET TO THE W.C. IN THE DORMITORY FLAT -- I STILL WON'T CRITICIZE CRITICISE

I AM REALLY MOST TERRIBLY ABJECT IN MY APOLOGY HERE

EEK

Posted by: active_apathy (active_apathy)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 11:37 pm (UTC)
QC - Hanners - meeep!

AND NOW YOU'RE JUST BEING DISMISSIVE ABOUT IT, YOU LINGUISTIC... UM... HEGEMONY-ENFORCING-PERSON. YOU SAY YOU DON'T CARE, BUT WE CAN JUST TELL THAT YOU'RE WAITING WITH A BUBBLING, SEETHING RAGE READY TO UNLEASH ITSELF UPON ANYONE WHO DARES TO STRAY FROM KING WEBSTER'S ENGLISH WITH ITS MISSING LETTERS AND PERVERTED SPELLINGS AND HOW IS IT FAIR THAT I KNOW SO FEW AMERICANISMS THAT I CAN'T ACTUALLY MOCK THEM WELL ENOUGH TO COMPOSE A FITTING REPLY TO THAT COMMENT? WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T USE THE BROKEN ENGLISH OF A PLACE THAT COULD BRING ITSELF TO INVENT AEROSOL CHEESE.

THIS APOLOGY = NOT GOOD ENOUGH. GO AND MAKE A BETTER ONE.

Posted by: the girl with violets in her lap (slammerkinbabe)
Posted at: April 2nd, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC)

DUDE THIS WHOLE THING STARTED BECAUSE I BEGAN MY ENTRY BY SAYING "BITS AND BOBS"

THEREFORE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ON EARTH I AM SUPPOSED TO BE APOLOGISING FOR, BUT PROFFER A RANDOM Z-TO-S-CONVERSION THERE AS A PEACE OFFERING

LET IT BE ESTABLISHED HEREIN THAT ANYONE WHO OBJECTS TO BRITISH SPELLINGS IS A BLOODY ARSEHOLE

END APOLOGY

Posted by: active_apathy (active_apathy)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2008 12:04 am (UTC)

That's... um. Yes. There was-

OH! RIGHT! PEOPLE USING BRITISH SPELLINGS OUTSIDE BRITAIN (AND CANADA) WERE EVIL, AND THERE WAS A POMPOUS IDIOT.

(Who was, in fact, just being a pompous idiot. Or a real estate agent, with words like 'cosy' and 'w.c.'; did he talk about the view? About being convenient to public transport/schools/shops/whatever else?)

AND THEN YOU DECIDED TO PLAY HEGEMONY TOO, Which should've been a give-away, really: if ever I start ranting about any kind of hegemony, it means that whatever follows is utter nonsense, but I'm meant to be using SHOUTY CAPS right now, BUT THEN I GOT CONFUSED. SO... UM, GOOD. DON'T DO IT AGAIN? WHATEVER IT WAS.

Plus, being the third of April, my ethical responsibilities demand that I once again start treating the whole world like a joke now that everyone else has had their one day of it for the year.

Posted by: Spencer Irving (archaica)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2008 12:45 pm (UTC)

Ah, I'm so glad I was able to start some shit.

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